Spider-Man - Those Who Can - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Daytime. Peter Parker stands on the viewing deck of the Empire State Building, gazing out across the

city. He’s just another member of the public – it’s pretty crowded up there, but we’re focusing on

him. Head & shoulders shot, we can’t see who he’s talking to, or who’s behind him.

This isn’t the Peter Parker we know, however, it’s the Peter of Earth 181512. He’s in his 40s now, greying at the temples like Reed Richards. His nose has been broken a long time ago but it’s still noticeable, and one of his ears is cauliflowered. There are a couple of old scars on his face too: not fresh, faded by the years.

CAP: Earth 181512

CAP (Peter): I used to dream I could be a hero.

Panel Two.

Flashback. Young Peter (10, 11?), sitting on his bed, reading Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. The bookshelves in his room are crammed with fading, tattered paperbacks. Uncle Ben stands in the doorway, smiling, holding a brown paper bag containing more old books.

CAP: When I was a kid, I was always reading fantastical stories about people who made a difference.

Ben: Petey, I picked you up some more books from the thrift store…

CAP: You read enough of those, you think maybe one day you will too.

Panel Three.

Flashback. The moment at the science exhibition when 15 year old Peter is bitten by the radioactive spider.

CAP: I don’t know what I was doing there, I guess I was just trying to impress some girl – I didn’t even like science!

CAP: Maybe if I had…

Panel Four.

A montage of young Spider-Man getting clobbered by Sandman’s block fist, squeezed to unconsciousness by Doc Ock’s tentacles, dropped from a great height by the Vulture, electrocuted by Electro… In each image, his Spider-Sense is going mental. No webbing: this Spidey doesn’t have it. And his costume’s not half as slick as the one we’re used to: this Peter’s no seamstress either.

CAP: I never won a fight, you know? Yeah, I was strong. Yeah, I could jump around and stick to walls… and I always knew when something bad was going to happen.

CAP: But if I’d been smarter, maybe I could have invented my own spider’s web… or come up with some fancy doohickey to counteract my enemies’ weaponry…

Panel Five.

Slightly older Peter (mid-20s now) stands in a cemetery, surrounded by gravestones.

CAP: Maybe I could have saved Uncle Ben…

CAP: …or Aunt May. Or Betty, or Flash, or Jonah, or Mary Jane…

Panel Six.

Back up on the Empire State Building. Old Peter turns to face his class: a group of wannabe teenage heroes, out of costume, but loaded with attitude. This Peter walks with a cane, stooped, tired.

Peter: That’s why the Avengers gave me this job: because not all of you will make it. Some of you shouldn’t even try.

Peter: Only a very fortunate few actually get to fly, and they’re the ones with great confidence, great determination… great power.

Peter: For the rest of us… the responsible thing, it’s just to keep our feet on the ground and stop dreaming. I wish somebody’d told me that when I was your age…

Why Thoughtballoons? - Rol Hirst

To me, it’s more than five years ago that Thoughtballoons started… it’s another lifetime. Back then, I was in a completely different job, a completely different home; I had no power and very little responsibility. It was before I changed career to become a teacher, it was before I had my son, it was the days of Free Time.

Ah, yes, I remember Free Time. Free Time was when I thought that… maybe… one day… I might make it as a writer. That after years of banging my head against that particular adamantium wall, I would finally break through. And being part of the original Thoughtballoons gang gave me the support and encouragement to build on that dream, to play the game, to live the life. Even if it was only make believe. It gave me the discipline, the deadlines and the respected peer feedback I needed to grow as a writer…and most of all, it was a heckuva lot of fun. I made friends in faraway places, friends I still keep in touch with today – even if it’s only through reading their facebook posts. And I got to write stories about some of the greatest characters in popular fiction (and a few rubbish ones that Ben picked).

But like I say, that was another lifetime. I know it’s possible to hold down a full time teaching job, be a parent AND build a successful career as a writer… IF YOU’RE RYAN. But I don’t have his stamina. (Ryan does not sleep. That is the only plausible explanation.) Not for me though: for me, something had to give. I can’t remember who it was who famously said “Writers write” (once, I would have known) but if that’s the main qualification, I guess I’m not a writer anymore.

Do you know what though? It’s not as bad as I always thought it would be, admitting that. You think you can’t live without that drug, but you can. If you have to. I have my boy, I have my job, and if every now and then I get to dust off the old metaphorical typewriter and pretend for a few sentence more… well, that makes it all the more special. And maybe once Sam goes off to university and I retire to the Old Folk’s Community, maybe I’ll write again. And maybe Thoughtballoons will have me back. Until then, I must find time to drop by and read some scripts every now and then. That always improves any day.

My script kinda riffs on all the above, and it’s pretty timely given the recent Spiderverse crossover and the imminent destruction of the Marvel Universe. It’s about my favourite character, of course, but not the one we know. One who, in the end, just wasn't smart enough…

- Rol Hirst

Ryan K. Lindsay – There’s No ‘I’ in Ryan - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Close on the Riddler, his hands clutched to his face, shaking, gabbling, unintelligible. This is a man in deep shock.

Riddler: There’s no ‘I’ in Ryan, there’s no ‘I’ in Ryan, there’s no ‘I’ in Ryan…

Panel Two.

Pull out to show that the Riddler is sitting on a chair in a cell, being watched through a plexiglass window by Batman and Commissioner Gordon.

Gordon: He’s been like this since we brought him in.

Batman: And you’ve no idea who did this to him?

Panel Three.

Close on Gordon, looking grim.

Gordon: The way we found him – all trussed up and hanging from that lamppost – we were convinced it was you.

Panel Four.

Close on Batman, looking grimmer.

Batman: I’ve been out of town. League business. Only got back this morning.

Batman: So you think this has something to do with that missing writer?

Panel Five.

Gordon holds up a photograph of Ryan K. Lindsay. Batman leans in to examine it. Behind them, a small window shows a starry night and the Gotham skyline.

Gordon: Ryan K. Lindsay. Australian comic book writer. Big noise in that scene. Special guest at the Gotham Comicon.

Panel Six.

Outside Gotham Central. On a nearby rooftop, a shadowy figure stands watching through the window we saw in the last panel. He’s holding a directional microphone and listening in on the conversation inside.

Gordon (from inside): No one’s seen him since Friday night…

Figure: And they’ll never seen him again, Commissioner. Because Ryan K. Lindsay is no more…

Panel Seven.

(Or, if I'm allowed to break the rules once, for my final script - Page TWO, splash panel...)

The figure leaps off the rooftop, towards us, in a big heroic pose. He’s wearing an all over face mask (black, featureless) and a long flowing detective’s mac that trails behind him like a cape. The logo on his black top features four symbols shaped like typewriter keys – N O I R…

Noir: And the night belongs to NOIR!




Thanks for the opportunity to be part of the best comics blog on the net – with the friendliest and most encouraging team of creators. Ryan K. Lindsay, I salute you!

Mjolnir - Hammer To Fall - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Thor sits alone in a darkened room, huddled and slumped and drained. He is weak and thin, withered. His helmet is slipping down to one side, his gold locks desiccated, his chain mail armour hangs off him, baggy and oversized. He is a shadow of his former self. As he leans forward, he holds the strap of Mjolnir. The hammer itself stands upright (head on the floor) before him.

The only illumination in the room comes from a doorway to Thor's left. Shadows fall across him as three men enter (off-panel).

Strange (O/P): Thor…?

Panel Two.

Thor lifts his head wearily and stares at his comrades. Iron Man, Captain America, Dr. Strange. We can see a little more of the background now: we are in Stephen Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. Thor is putting on a brave smile; his friends look grim.

Thor: So, gentlemen. Your learned diagnosis…?

Captain America: There’s no easy way to say this, old friend.

Iron Man: It’s the hammer, Thor.

Strange: A grave enchantment is upon it. Dark magics even I can’t combat…

Panel Three.

Cap crouches before Thor and rests a hand on his old friend's shoulder.He holds tight onto his own shield as he does so.

Captain America: You need to relinquish your hammer, Thor. You need to send it far, far away...

Captain America: Before it kills you.

Panel Four.

Close on Thor, weak but determined.

Thor: Nay, Captain. If Mjolnir and I are destined for Valhalla, we shall journey there together.

Panel Five.

It’s a struggle for him to even lift Mjolnir now, but somehow he manages it. Holding it with both hands, the Thunder God staggers to his feet. Defiant.

Thor: Shortly... after... we have slain my damn'd brother...

Thor: Loki...

The Hulk - Oxymoron - Rol Hirst

This story takes place during the classic “Hulk smash” Hulk days when Hulk was a sometime member of the Defenders. Previous to this page, the non-team (consisting of Dr. Strange, Submariner, Nighthawk and Valkyrie) have arrived to ask Hulk’s help against some big, weird, Universe-threatening menace. But Hulk is tired. He doesn’t want to help them. Reluctantly, the Defenders depart to deal with the menace on their own.

Panel One.

Hulk is left alone in the forest where the Defenders found him, sitting cross-legged at the side of a lake. He looks back into an empty clearing where moments ago the non-team were standing.

Hulk: Good. Fish Man, Sword Girl, Bird Nose and Dumb Magician have gone. Left Hulk alone.

Panel Two.

Hulk stares at his reflection in the water.

Hulk: When will they understand? Hulk doesn’t want to fight. Hulk just wants to be left alone.

Panel Three.

The reflection in the water begins to change. As Hulk calms, he fades back to Banner. This is a mid-transformation image: Bill Bixby with the prosthetic forehead, green fading to grey.

Hulk: Maybe then, Hulk will finally be…

Panel Four.

The reflection changes again. It’s almost completely Banner now. He looks sad.

Banner: …happy.

Panel Five.

Long shot of Banner, still sitting at the lakeside in the tattered remains of his Hulked-out clothes. He does not move, just stares into the rippling water.

The Black Widow – Spiderbait – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A luxury Manhattan hotel room, seen from outside. Curtains blow in the breeze of the open window. Behind those curtains, two figures are silhouetted – the Black Widow and Peter Parker. The Widow stands before Peter’s silhouette. She is unzipping the front of her costume.

Peter: This is some weird spider-thing, right? I mean, you never showed any interest in me before…

Panel Two.

We’re inside the hotel room now. We’re looking over Peter’s shoulder. He’s wearing his Spider-Man costume but not his mask. The Widow is holding that. Her costume is now unzipped to mid torso, showing plentiful cleavage. She’s smiling seductively.

The hotel room is set up for romance. Champagne cooling, subdued lighting, candles. Maybe some rose petals scattered over the sheets of the four poster bed.

Peter's spider-sense is tingling.

Natalia: You were with someone else. Though I’ve always believed in going after that which I desire, I won’t choose to harm a happy relationship…

Natalia: Especially if there’s another redhead in the equation.

Panel Three.

The widow rests her arms on Peter’s shoulders, drawing him close. She’s still holding his mask, behind his head now. She’s staring in deep in the eye. Peter is embarrassed. His spider-sense is still tingling.

Peter: See, I don’t know if my spider-sense is tingling now because of your entomological reputation…

Peter: …I’m worried about the freaky age difference…

Peter: …or, um, y’know, I'm just afraid of getting beaten up by a jealous Winter Soldier… Daredevil… Hawkeye… Herc—

Panel Four.

The Widow kisses Peter passionately. His spider-sense goes wild. She drops his mask.

Panel Five.

The kiss continues. The tingles of Peter’s spider-sense diminish in intensity.

Panel Six.

The kiss ends, though Natasha’s face remains close to Peter. They’re both smiling now. Peter’s spider-sense is no longer tingling.

Peter: Woo. No more tingling. Not from up there, anyway…

Panel Seven.

We’re watching the scene through a CCTV camera now, from elsewhere: a dark, secret-agent monitor room. A shadowy figure is watching the monitor (possibly O/P).

CAP: Stage one complete. The Widow’s kiss has neutralised the subject’s inbuilt defences. Begin stage two…

Hawkeye – Don't Look Back In Anger – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Inset in panel 2. Clint Barton sits on a creaky wooden chair. He is wearing casual clothes and looking straight at us as he talks. Spotlight on him, long shadows behind. He’s fidgeting with his hands, looking a little grumpy.

Clint: You might say, when I first picked up a bow…

Panel Two.

Flashback. Hawkeye in his original costume, firing acid arrows at clunky, early-armoured Iron Man (the version with big screws in the face-plate). The arrows are rusting the suit as they hit its weak spots.

CAP (Clint): …I was an angry young man.

Panel Three.

Inset in panel 4. Out of flashback. Close on Clint, pointing a defiant finger at us.

Clint: But you ask me, since then, I’ve more than made up for any youthful indiscretions…

Panel Four.

Flashback montage.

In the central image, Hawkeye walks away from a group of dumbfounded Avengers. A classic “I quit!” moment.

In another image, Hawkeye punches Daredevil while a shocked Black Widow looks on.

In another, Hawkeye is embroiled in a furious argument with Gyrich.

In another, Hawkeye breaks a bunch of arrows that are green in colour while a surprised arrowsmith looks on. (Dialogue: Green? I asked for purple! Who the $%@& shoots green arrows!?)

In another, Hawk yells at his equally enraged wife, Mockingbird.

CAP (Clint): OK, so there might be the... occasional moment when my temper still gets the better of me...

Panel Five.

Out of flashback. A middle-aged hippy woman leans across and rests her hand on Clint’s hand, giving him a calming smile. Clint is wrinkling his nose: not a happy camper.

Woman: But that’s why you’re here, Clint. You’ve made a tremendous step in acknowledging your feelings, and now…

Panel Six.

Pull out to reveal the larger scene: a self-help group – a circle of chairs occupied by Hawkeye, the hippy woman, Bruce Banner, Logan, Ben Grimm, Namor and Angar The Screamer. None of them (with the exception of the hippy, who obviously has her work cut out for her) look particularly happy to be there.

A sign pinned to the wall behind Namor’s head reads: Anger Management / Tuesday / 7 – 9pm / All Welcome.

Clint looks around the group as he runs fingers through his hair.

Woman: …we’re here to help you on the rest of your journey.

Clint: Hoo, boy!

Loki - Who Wants To Live Forever? - Rol Hirst

An old woman has visited Avengers Mansion with what she claims to be incontrovertible proof that the team has been fighting evil for far more years than they believe. She has shown them evidence that the Avengers actually formed shortly before the Kennedy assassination in 1963. Photographs of Captain America and Iron Man shaking hands with JFK. A rare television chat show in which Hawkeye and the Black Widow appear on the same stage as The Beatles.

Steve Rogers, respectful of the lady’s advanced age, listens while many of his team-mates dismiss her as senile or insane. But as the old woman continues, her evidence begins to contradict itself. Now she shows Captain America pictures of the original Avengers forming in the Reagan era, and later Hawkeye and the Widow taking to the stage alongside Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, as part of their first official duties as active members. The woman becomes confused, angry, bitter and finally she leaves… unable to convince the Avengers of anything. Uncertain even of her own mind.


Page 22.

Panel One.

The old woman walks away from Avengers Mansion, head down, defeated. Captain America stands at the gates with Thor, watching her go.

Captain: It makes me so think... If I myself hadn’t been trapped in the ice all those years… would I too be so old and confused now?

Thor: Mayhaps, Captain...

Panel Two.

The old woman continues to walk along the street. Up ahead, a black cat watches her from an alleyway.

Cap (Thor): Time, as you mortals live it, is a harsh mistress, indeed.

Panel Three.

As the old woman reaches the cat, she steadies herself against the wall. Exhausted, emotional. The cat looks up at her… and speaks.

Cat: Cease your snivelling, foolish woman. I’ve told you before…

Panel Four.

Before the woman’s shocked eyes, the cat grows and transforms into Loki.

Loki: …it will do you no good.

Panel Five.

Close on Loki, grinning mischievously.

Loki: Imagine – if I’d really let time run its natural course? How old and decrepit they would all be by now. No fun at all.

Loki: You must understand, Uror. I have to keep them young and strong. Them and all their kith and kin on this branch of the world tree.

Panel Six.

Loki puts his arm around the old lady and leads her away down the street.

Loki: As long as we gods remain immortal, so must our favourite toys. Eternity would be so very, very dull without them.

Loki: Now let us see you home. Your Norn sisters will be looking for you…

Nick Fury - ∞ x ∞ - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Flashback. The end of World War II. Paris. A landmine explodes, tossing Sgt. Nick Fury high in the air, all but killing him.

CAP (Fury): So there’s this tasty little cure-all called The Infinity Formula: helped save my life at the end of WW II…

Panel Two.

Out of flashback. Close on Fury, half in shadow, talking but not looking at us.

Fury: Kept me the dashing young super-spy you see before you today…

Panel Three.

Flashback. Fury injects Bucky with his last dose of The Infinity Formula, saving the Winter Soldier’s life.

CAP (Fury): Till recently, anyway.

Panel Four.

Out of flashback. Fury steps out of the shadows and we see who he’s talking to – some of his oldest allies: Captain America, the Black Widow, Wolverine, Dum Dum Dugan. They’re all in one of Fury’s secret hideouts. Fury looks miffed.

Fury: ‘Bout time I started growing old gracefully though – been putting it off far too long. That ain’t the problem…

Fury: The problem is the Formula… I always thought it couldn’t ever be replicated. Thought Sternberg took that with him to his grave.

Panel Five.

Hydra Secret Base. A long line of Hydra recruits are lining up for an injection. The one at the front of the line has rolled up his uniform sleeve to the shoulder. An evil Hydra doctor is injecting him. Beside them are boxes and boxes of vials, all labelled with the ∞ symbol.

Fury: Turns out I was wrong.

Jamie Madrox - XX-Factor - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

The offices of X-Factor Investigations (or whatever they’re calling themselves this week). Jamie Madrox peeps his head around the door, looking pissed off. That’s all we can see in this panel.

Madrox: There’s a woman here to see you.

Panel Two.

Inside the office we see the original Jamie Madrox sitting at his desk. Which I guess means that the one we saw in the previous panel must be a dupe. That dupe is still standing in the doorway, arguing with Madrox.

Madrox (original): Show her in.

Madrox (dupe): I’m not your secretary, honey.

Madrox (original): Yes, you are. That’s why I created you this morning. While the rest of the team are in Chicago, I need someone to—

Panel Three.

The dupe holds up his hand in a “talk to the hand” gesture. The original crosses his arms impatiently.

Madrox (dupe): What-ever! She looks familiar, by the way. Can’t place her myself, but: cheap!?

Madrox (original): Well, if you can’t, I somehow doubt I’ll be able to. Not that I’ll get the chance unless you SHOW. HER. IN.


Panel Four.

The dupe storms out. Madrox sits with his chin resting on his hands, elbows on the desk. He looks grumpy.

Madrox (dupe): Huff... bitch!

CAP (Madrox): Great. I had to let my moody queen dupe out, didn’t I? It’ll be murder reabsorbing--

Panel Five.

A woman stands in the office doorway. A woman who looks slightly familiar. Just like Jamie Madrox, in fact, after a sex change. She’s not a bad looking woman. Pretty good figure on her. Her hair is shoulder length and streaked with blonde highlights. Not too heavily made up. She’s regarding Jamie with a wry smile, hands on her hips in a slightly provocative / packed with attitude pose.

CAP (Madrox): --her!?

Panel Six.

Close on Madrox, his jaw having dropped, pointing at the woman. Unlike his dupe, he knows exactly who she is.

Madrox: Who… what…when… where… how… why?

Panel Seven.

Close on She-Madrox, taking a sly pleasure in his shocked reaction.

She-Madrox: Exactly who you think; gender reassignment surgery; November, 2009; L.A.; you were drunk for three whole days and didn’t notice me gone when you finally sobered up; because I’m the part of you who never felt quite right in our... old body.

She-Madrox: Now, will you take my case or what…?

Ghost Rider - Last Man Standing – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A man in a dentist’s smock rides a satanic golf buggy across a scenic green, swinging a burning golf club before him. Middle-aged men in golfing pants run screaming in terror. It’s a glorious summer afternoon. The buggy leaves scorching tread marks across the green. The man’s head is a flaming skull, distinguished by a pair of those thick plastic safety goggles dentists wear.

Dentist: Under par? Under par!? I’ll give you under par!

CAP (Dr. Strange): A dentist in Wyoming with a faustian five iron…

Panel Two.

A 2 year-old girl in a fiery Hello Kitty push chair tears through a Parisian children’s playground, raising hell. This baby ghost rider is armed with a brightly coloured plastic toy flame-thrower. French parents grab and shield their children, running for cover. What remains of the child’s mother is dragging along behind the pushchair, her hands seared to the handles.

Child: Je ne veux PAS une glace fraise!

CAP (Dr. Strange): A Parisian toddler who hated strawberry ice-cream…

Panel Three.

An enormous fat trucker with a flaming ghost rider skull sits at a table a motorway service / transport café. The table before him is filled with body parts, served up as a ghastly meal. Lots of blood and gore but also the occasional tyre mark scarring the skin of the arms and legs and torsos he is feasting on. Outside the café window behind him we can see a flaming, hellish juggernaut truck. His ride.

The man is thumping his fist on the table, demanding service from a terrified waitress.

Trucker: More ketchup!

CAP (Dr. Strange): A British truck driver with a necrophagic penchant for human roadkill…

Panel Four.

Close on Dr. Strange, looking worried. If Dr. Strange is looking worried, things are BAD. He’s wearing casual clothing (a brown jacket and tie) rather than the full-on Strange suit but he does have a swirly, Ditko-patterned cravat so we know it’s him. Although we can’t see much of the background, he’s standing in a seedy, dimly lit bar. We also can’t see who he’s talking to in this panel, but obviously it’s Johnny Blaze.

Strange: And that was just the first three. There have been hundreds more in the past seven days. It’s taken me that long to find you.

Blaze (O/P): Complete and utter waste of a week.

Panel Five.

Pull out to a wider shot. Johnny Blaze sits at the bar, staring into a whiskey glass. There’s a three quarters empty bottle of bourbon on the bar next to him and a nervous looking bartender eying him warily. Strange stands behind Johnny, trying to persuade him how BAD things are getting. Johnny doesn’t want to know.

Strange: You don’t seem to grasp the severity of this situation, Johnny. The whole world’s going Ghost Rider!

Johnny: Not the whole world…

Panel Six.

Finally Johnny turns to face Dr. Strange. But something's wrong with the good doctor. His face is starting to smoke, his skin starting to bubble, his hair starting to frazzle. Johnny's face looks terrible: wracked with guilt and remorse worse than he's ever experienced before. What has he done?

In the background, the bartender's head goes up in flames.

Johnny: See, I made another deal, Stephen...

Johnny: I’ll never be Ghost Rider again.

NEXT: One Man vs. One Billion Ghost Riders.

Black Manta - Don't Drink The Water - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Close on Black Manta’s mask. We’re looking up at it – worm’s eye view. Is it grinning at us, or is that just a trick of the light?

Manta: How long can a man survive without water?


Panel Two.

Wider shot. We are in a dry and dusty dungeon. Manta stands in front of the open doorway, half turned away from us, reading from a handheld computer. He’s wearing a nefarious looking shoulder bag (ie. one that matches his evil outfit). We’re still looking up from down on the floor.

Manta: I googled it. Between 3 and 7 days, depending on a variety of different factors I won’t bore you with.

Manta: My research, however, was unable to find the answer to a more specific question…

Panel Three.

Switch the viewpoint. Now we’re looking from above and behind Manta, down towards where we were looking up from in the first two panels. Manta has put the computer away and is pulling a bottle of mineral water from his bag.

Down on the floor before him is a severely dehydrated Aquaman. He’s reaching up towards us, desperate for a drink, yet still defiant, refusing to be broken.

Manta: How long can an Aquaman survive without water?

Aquaman: I won’t… beg…

Panel Four.

Aquaman’s pov again. Manta has crouched down and is offering Aquaman the bottle of water, having removed the top. Drops glisten in the light.

Manta: Oh, Arthur, what sort of monster do you take me for…?

Panel Five.

Aquaman grabs the bottle and drinks greedily.

Manta stands watching, malevolent.

Panel Six.

Aquaman vomits the water back up. He can’t drink it.

Manta looks victorious.

Aquaman: Ahurrrghh!

Manta: …the kind who’d take my enemy’s native element… and make it anathema to him?

The Warriors - Once Were - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Two men stand on a Coney Island boardwalk, looking out to sea. We see them from behind, they’re mostly in silhouette. The sun is setting over the ocean.

Man #1: I told you, man, that was 30 years ago. I left all that behind.

Panel Two.

Opposite angle (looking in from the sea), closer so we can see their faces. The two men are Swan and Snow, former Warriors… now both in their 50s. Swan wears a business suit. Snow is wearing his old Warriors vest and colours. It doesn’t really fit anymore since he’s filled out with the old middle-aged spread, but he’s holding it together.

Swan looks at Snow through narrowed eyes. Behind them, the lights of a fairground are twinkling.

Man #1 (Swan): I thought you did too, Snowball.

Panel Three.

The discussion becomes heated. Swan looks pissed off. Snow holds his hands up, a peacemaking gesture.

Snow: You know I did, Warlord. Got a nice gig playing--

Swan: Don’t call me that, man. I ain’t no—

Snow: You’ll always be Warlord to me, Swan. After that night in the Bronx…

Panel Four.

Close on Swan, grim-faced.

Swan: Look, I don’t mind shooting the breeze with you about old times, man – but that’s all they is.

Panel Five.

Swan turns and starts walking away down the boardwalk. Snow calls after him.

Swan: Those days are gone.

Snow: For us, that's as maybe…

Panel Six.

Swan freezes in the forefront of the panel. Over his shoulder we see Snow, wiping a tired hand down his face.

Snow: But not for my kids, man.

Snow: They got ‘em, Warlord. The Rogues. They got my kids.

Snow: And you know what they want in return…

Indiana Jones – Leave No Hat Behind – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Deep in the Peruvian jungle. Indiana Jones faces a Gestapo officer in a trenchcoat and trilby. Indie looks like he’s been through the wars – his face cut, his shirt torn, his hair dishevelled…

The Gestapo hasn’t got a scratch on him, and his trenchcoat and hat are immaculate. He has got a gun on him though: a Luger, and it’s pointed straight at Indie. Two other, lower ranking Nazi soldiers, stand behind the Gestapo, also with their weapons trained on our hero.

On the ground between them lies Indie’s famous fedora.

Nazi: You know what you are, Doctor Jones? You are a fool.

Nazi: You come all this way to steal the legendary Stone of Sachamama--

Panel Two.

Close on Indie, gritted teeth, a sly grin.

Indie: Didn’t really want it for myself. Just didn’t think you lot should have it.

Panel Three.

Close on the Nazi, smiling. Evil.

Nazi: But, see, this is what I do not get. You succeed in your quest. You outwit the Third Reich itself and somehow manage to escape with your magical little trinket.

Nazi: Your friends are probably halfway to Lima by now… and you could be with them.

Nazi: And yet you return…

Panel Four.

The Nazi crouches down, reaching to pick up Indie’s hat. He’s lowered his gun but the other two soldiers still have Indie in their sights.

Nazi: And for what, exactly…?

Nazi: For this…

Panel Five.

The Nazi has lifted Indie’s hat to reveal a deadly rattlesnake coiled up beneath it. He looks shocked by his discovery, and lets the hat go as he staggers backwards. The snake attacks.

Nazi: …hat!?!

Snake: Hissssssssss!

Panel Six.

Indie has grabbed his hat and is running away, towards us, through the jungle. Behind him, the Gestapo officer has fallen into the other two soldiers in his panicked attempt to escape the rattlesnake. Indie frowns / grimaces as he runs, almost as though he’s justifying his actions to himself, as much as to the Nazis he’s leaving behind.

Indie: I like this hat…

Indie: …and snakes are growing on me too.

Harry Osborn – Don’t Turn Out Like Your Father – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Close on a newspaper. Frontline. The headline reads: Norman Osborn – Threat Or Menace? The subheading reads: Disgraced H.A.M.M.E.R. Director Escapes Custody Again.

The paper is being held by Harry Osborn. We only see his hand here.

CAP (Harry): I’ve always lived in my father’s shadow.

Panel Two.

Flashback. A young Harry (late teens) is on the floor, holding his face, crying. Norman towers over him, angry, having obviously just slapped him down.

Norman: You... you’re a disgrace to the name Osborn! I should have drowned you at birth, you pathetic, snivelling brat!

Panel Three.

Out of flashback. Harry walks down a busy New York street. Daytime. It’s a cold winter day and he’s bundled up in a big coat and a woolly hat. He’s carrying the newspaper under his arm.

CAP (Harry): Even when he wasn’t around, I kept trying to make him proud.

Panel Four.

Flashback. In a grim playback of the earlier flashback, here Harry stands over an unmasked Spider-Man. Pete's lying on the floor, clutching his chin after a good old-fashioned Goblin smackdown. Harry’s wearing the Green Goblin suit, holding his own mask in his hand.

Harry: Don’t you see, Pete? This is the way it has to be.

Harry: I am my father’s son.

Panel Five.

Out of flashback. Harry walks into a shop. We can’t make out quite what sort of shop it is… we’ll find out in the next panel. As he enters the shop, he pulls off his woolly hat.

CAP (Harry): That ends today.

Panel Six.

It’s a barber’s shop. Harry is sitting in the barber's chair, facing his own reflection in the mirror. The barber stands behind him holding a pair of clippers above that distinctive Osborn haircut.

Harry: Take it off. Take it all off.

Winter Soldier - 1956 - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Close on a file, in a brown folder, with a Russian emblem stamped in the top corner. A hand holds the file. A metal hand.

On the front of the file, the following words are written (though we don’t need to see them all):

О культе личности и его последствиях

Caption: February 24th, 1956.

Panel Two.

Pull out to show Bucky, as The Winter Soldier, holding the file. He’s reading it. He’s in a grim, 50s, Russian hotel room. A balcony window looks out over Moscow… we may even be able to see The Kremlin in the distance. It’s dark though so we won’t see much. In the foreground, two shadowy men are standing watching him, wearing long KGB trenchcoats. #1 is wearing a furry hat, #2 isn’t.

Man #1: [Premier Khrushchev intends to deliver the speech tonight, in a closed session of the Congress.]*

Caption: *Translated from Russian.

Panel Three.

Bucky stares at the men. Their faces are mostly in shadow. He is listening and taking in their information without judgement. He has a job to do, that is all that matters to him now. He hands the folder back to them.

Man #1: [We went to considerable lengths to find you. Comrade Stalin kept you well hidden.]

Man #2: [But we got you out of there, and we can keep you out. You can have a normal life again, James. Leave all this behind…]

Panel Four.

Bucky stands at the open balcony window. The curtains are billowing in the breeze. He’s preparing to leave. The man (#1) holding the speech has stepped more into the light. He is young (30s), dark-haired and handsome, but we do not recognise him.

Man #1: [As long as this speech remains a secret.]

Panel Five.

The Winter Soldier is gone. The first man takes off his hat as he turns towards us. The second man is staring after Bucky, facing away from us.

Man #2: You think he can pull this off?

Man #1: I think he’s the best chance we’ve got. No way we could have sent one of our own men in there.

Panel Six.

Close on the second man, his face also in the light now. We recognise him. The eye patch is the give away. He’s gritting his teeth in anger.

Nick Fury: Helms, you bastard…

Nick Fury: We just did.

Matty Roth - Duel - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Extreme close-up on Matty’s finger, hovering over the shutter release button on his camera. His hand is shaking. He’s scared to press that button.

Voice (O/P): You come here looking for a picture, boy?

Panel Two.

Another close-up, though not as extreme. This time it's Arturo Knowles (new character), the leader of a prominent gang in the DMZ. We can see more of his face than we saw of Matty in the last panel. A gold tooth showing where his lips crack into a grin. A thinly trimmed moustache just below his nose. His smiling eyes, sliced in two by the top border of the panel. He's in his late 20s, but that makes him an old man in his business.

Arturo: A pretty picture to make you famous?

Panel Three.

Pull out from panel one to reveal more of Matty’s face, with the camera held up to his eye so he can focus on the picture he’s about to take. His hand is still shaking. Beads of sweat on his forehead.

Arturo (O/P): I'll give you a picture.

Panel Four.

Pull out from panel two to show more of Arturo. Head and shoulders. He’s grinning. His right arm is up, held towards us, though his hand reaches out of the panel.

Arturo: Come on, boy...

Panel Five.

Full shot now, across the bottom of the page. On a flat rooftop in the DMZ – the damaged New York Skyline is our backdrop – Matty stands to one side of the panel, camera held up, frozen, unable to take his photo. On the other side, Arturo holds a gun on him. Arturo is wearing gang colours and holding his gun sideways on. He’s grinning, taunting, dangerous.

Arturo: Shoot.

Apocalypse - Not Now! - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Times Square, New York: New Year’s Eve. The crowds have gathered for the countdown.

CAP: 10… 9… 8…

CAP (Apocalypse): All else has been distraction.

Panel Two.

High above the square, Apocalypse looks down on the festivities from the balcony of a penthouse apartment. He appears smug and self-satisfied.

CAP: 7… 6… 5…

Apocalypse: I have bided my time, distracted myself with petty squabbles and insignificant campaigns… all because I knew this day was coming.

Panel Three.

Close on Apocalypse, grinning, victorious.

CAP: 4… 3… 2…

Apocalypse: The Mayans, the Celts, the Hopi… Sybil, Nostradamus, Ozymandias…

Apocalypse: All the prophets foretold...

SFX: BOOM!

Panel Four.

A stunned Apocalypse looks down at a steaming great hole in the middle of his chest.

CAP: 1…

Apocalypse: My... greatest...

Panel Five.

Apocalypse collapses to the ground. Behind him stands Deadpool, holding a ridiculously huge gun in one hand… and a folded open copy of Marvel Previews in the other. Smoke pours from the barrel of the gun.

Apocalypse: ...victory.

Deadpool: Know where I go to read the future? This here magazine.

Deadpool: Know who it says is gonna die this year?

Panel Six.

Apocalypse’s point of view. Deadpool leans over him, holding the copy of Marvel Previews open to a black page with the word ‘Dead’ written on it, half of Deadpool’s logo. He’s pointing to the advert, explaining why Apocalypse had to die.

Deadpool: Looksie…

Deadpool: So the end of the world’s postponed – least until everyone’s had a chance to buy my black bagged, New York Times-spoilered death issue. Y'hear me, Spocky-Lips?

Deadpool: No one. Else. Dies.

The North Pole - Luke Cage's Sweet Christmas Page 2 - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

From behind, we see Luke and the elf staring ahead towards Santa’s Grotto. It’s a ramshackle log cabin with Christmas decorations, twinkling lights and a huge fir tree outside. There’s a pack of reindeer standing to one side, looking grumpy. The door to the shack is opening…

The elf hands Luke a handkerchief. The snow has stopped but Luke is still shivering.

Elf: Your payment must wait, saving Santa’s the issue…
You’ll have to make do with this snotty old tissue.

Panel Two.

From out of the shack come a gang of supervillains, charging towards Luke, itching for a fight. (I'll tell you who they are in the next two panels, just play along, will you?) We don't need to see them all in this panel though.

Cap: Then faster than Quicksilver, the villains they came
And Luke, he did struggle to remember their names…

Panel Three.

Close on Luke, wracking his brains to identify the villains in the previous panel. He’s fighting while he does this, but we’re too close to see much of the action.

Luke: Erm… Trapster, and… Cancer? The Answer, and… Vixen?

Panel Four.

The four villains Luke has just named are laid out on the snow while Luke tackles another four in one big fight scrum. One of the villains is a famous film director, the rest are regular Marvel badguys.

Luke: Now, Batroc and Carnage, Richard Donner and… Blizzard?

Cap: That last one didn’t rhyme, but Luke didn’t care
He was just glad to get them out of his hair

Panel Five.

From behind, we see Luke standing outside Santa’s grotto. In the foreground, a pile of villains lay defeated. The elf runs past Luke towards Santa who’s tied up with tinsel and locked in cage just inside the shack’s doorway. Santa also has a bauble taped into his mouth like a ball gag.

Cap: So Santa was rescued, set free from his cage
And Luke, he did wonder what to buy with his wage


Panel Six.

Luke watches as Santa and the Elf zoom off on the sleigh (now loaded with presents), pulled by the reindeer. The Elf waves back at Luke from the sleigh, looking slightly embarrassed. The snow is falling again and Luke is left huddled and shivering, contemplating a long journey home.

Cap: But the old man was late, with no time to pay,
He just jumped on his sleigh and flew off on his way

Elf: Sorry!

Cap: …waved the Elf…

Elf: I guess that’s just snow business!

Cap: Leaving Luke to walk home, a’grumbling…

Luke: SWEET CHRISTMAS!

What If Stan Lee Became A Plumber Instead Of A Comic Book Writer? - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A computer screen shows an empty google search box.

Panel Two.

Fingers type on a computer keyboard.

Panel Three.

The google searchbox now displays the words "Thoughtalloons - One page of script a week. Every week brings a new character."

Panel Four.

A finger hits the return key on the keyboard.

Panel Five.